How not to be a Husband – Money

Finances

I’m not a stingy person. I’m careful of where and when I spend my money and I don’t appreciate constant over-spending on useless things. I understand sometimes you need to spend money here and there to feel good, and that’s ok.

Here in Kuwait, when you get married, you’re compensated with a social allowance in order to help provide for your family. The usual thing a husband would do is to hand over this allowance at the end of the month to his wife, plus a little extra. This would cover [some] of the expenses she would incur towards getting pampered for you – perfumes, lingerie, and other goodies she needs to maintain her beauty in her pursuit to please you (at least this is the ideal).

Daily household items, groceries, furniture, pretty much everything else is on the guy. It’s totally optional if the woman wants to contribute.

money-and-marriage

I consider myself one of the very lucky ones because my ex was understanding in this area. She never made a big deal about money and was fine with spending on the house, treating me to a weekend get away and so on. She did however mention it a few times in as nice a way as possible, but thick skull me never took the hint.

Husbands……it’s important that you be conscious about spending wisely on your wife and home. You need to be tuned to how much she’s spending and not allow her to pay for essential things. If she still does, then find a way to repay her. By no means should you pull out your wallet and start counting money, unless she’s specifically asked for it. If you’re like me and have/had an understanding wife, she wouldn’t allow herself to take it anyway. You should then buy her a thoughtful gift, flowers, surprise her with an exciting travel getaway, a romantic dinner – or something along those lines.

I failed to do all these things and, worst of all, I failed to recognise the opportunities to recover the situation. This doesn’t mean I never payed for anything. On the contrary, I still pay for all the expensive things and now, learning from my mistake, I pay for all the small stuff too. You see I have this idea that if I can control spending now on a lot of small inexpensive needless things – which we know eat away at your budget more than the infrequent expensive things -then I’d have enough money to build our dream home. The dream home to me is one of the major goals to achieve.

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2 responses to “How not to be a Husband – Money

  1. Just as a question, do you have any anger and hate towards your ex? For leaving you? What goes through a mans mind? If you don’t mind..what are reasons that make a man not text or call or post up pics of himself having fun..

    Liked by 1 person

    • I honestly don’t have any anger or hate towards her, I’m sad and angry at myself for letting this happen. She’s made it clear that we’ll always be friends and she can’t imagine not talking to me.
      What usually goes through our minds is an ego thing. That we failed, we’re rejected. The sense of pride kicks in then the ‘how dare she do this to me’. It’s kinda mixed up. We normally think logically without emotion- which most of the time gets us into trouble. I can say my mind goes into overdrive, trying to quickly pick up the pieces, be more attentive and recover.

      The last part is tricky but a great question. Ignoring is just the easy way for us not to confront the issue in the hopes it will slowly subside. We can easily detach from emotions also. So during the ignoring period, we may actually be out having fun with the guys, or worse, on top of another girl ( I know, we’re pigs…….but not all of us) hence the disappearance from social media. We may also pretend that during the silent period we were so affected and needed the time to do some inner healing and deep reflection (sometimes this is true)
      Instead of talking it through with our woman, we look for the simple solution of ignoring it till it’s gone (hopefully).

      I hope I’ve answered your queries, if not , please ask more.

      Liked by 1 person

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