How not to be a Husband – Jealousy

A continuation of my previous post about the misery of my marriage, in the hopes of relieving my remaining disdain, I’m going to ramble a little more about what went wrong.

It’s hard for a guy to always be switched on to a womans’ feelings. Trying to anticipate the exact feeling she’s going through and provide the correct action or answer is a miracle if you can pull it off. And to remember certain dates, what happened on that date, what whoever was wearing, what perfume, and so on is pushing it.1944134753_905d19f4dfc4aa3e25dd689847eb8946_MJZ1943_answer_101_xlarge

I was almost constantly being quizzed on dates as a measure to determine how much I cared and every time I fumbled on a date, I would get that disappointed look. So another question would follow with only a more disappointing answer and the cycle would continue. I’m guessing the second question was intended as a chance for redemption or morale booster since it was usually easier than the first….and still I manage to miss the opportunity.

 

Of the many mistakes I made was that I never showed her how jealous I was when a guy would talk to her. Mostly because I totally trust her and respect the relationship she has with colleagues or friends as just that. I was jealous on many occasions, it’s just that I never showed it in fear of making such a big deal out of what I thought was nothing. I didn’t want to cause any animosity between her and her friends. This apparently wasn’t what she wanted. Showing my jealously, to her, was a measure of how much I loved her and how precious she is to me. After we had our son, she would always point out how jealous I get when anyone would play with him. It was obvious how i’d hover around, keep staring with a fake smirk on my face. I do feel very protective of him and don’t like when people play with him, especially when it looks like he’s enjoying it more than when I do the same. That’s what she was looking for, that natural protective jealous thing I do with him. Of course this made it worse between us because that was hard proof to her that I never had that natural instinct toward her. I do, it’s just that it’s amplified with him since he’s a child.

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The lesson.

Use your phone calendar to mark important relationship dates. It’s an obvious and simple solution.

Show your woman how much you care about her, love her and want to always protect her by showing some reasonable level of jealousy. Don’t over due it like the majority of arabs because it can be construed as lack of self confidence on your part, the right amount at the right time will take you a long way. You don’t have to be so bitter and angry when you do show it. Just sincere.

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One response to “How not to be a Husband – Jealousy

  1. Maybe I’m being out of line /too direct. I just feel that you’re beating yourself up too much about what’s happened already. It’s happened and you can’t change it. Yes reflect and learn from it but we are all just human and it seems to me that you have a good heart and sincere intentions towards your wife. Many men don’t. Try to see all the good things you have to offer and remember that a healthy, happy relationship is about accepting each other, flaws included, and working on things together.

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